BBall, Jersey City Style
Down in the City doing fundraising right now and one of the best things about it is being able to play ball down here. Up at the house the nearest bball court is about 4 miles away and is broken so everytime we go we have to bring a piece of copper piping, a tape measure, and a hacksaw to fix it. Of course we could just save the piece of pipe that we cut the last time but it is too much work to do after playing ball and we are hoping the little bastards that keep messing up our brilliant fixit job will knock it off, or at the least save our piece of pipe for us.
Anyhow so when we are down here there is this lovely little court we can play ball at, of course the rims are about 3 inchs short, the court is covered in sand and broken glass, and no one bothers to keep any sort of rules but it is all good in the hood.
With a little help from JD I have even started to learn the local language. I still cant understand most of what they say but I know they have dubbed me Dirk (these guys arent the most imaginative, I guess they see a tall white guy with long hair and figure he is white like Dirk so he must play like Dirk), JD is Sprite (no idea where they got that from), and Mark is either Steve Nash or White Cracker depending on the day.
I have learned the two worst things to do are to fall over when defending someone, and to jump on a pump fake. Either way you will be ridiculed mercilessly, I have done both of those and everyone there still recounts it whenever I show up. Of course I am also one of the only ones who bothers defending anyone (JD is the other, he is quite good too). Another thing is that you have to taunt, if not you wont get anywhere. Yesterday I stuffed a guy with both hands and since i said nothing no else said anything, then I slip on a crossover and the whole neighbourhood sounded off on it.
Yup becoming one can be hard on your pride sometimes but I am learning, pretty soon Ill be ready to dunk, and yell, and swear, and taunt, and dribble for half an hour before I try shooting. What, thats not the vision, drat. Well i guess I will stick to enjoying ball and not worry about whether the neighborhood thinks I am whiter Tom Green.
Anyhow so when we are down here there is this lovely little court we can play ball at, of course the rims are about 3 inchs short, the court is covered in sand and broken glass, and no one bothers to keep any sort of rules but it is all good in the hood.
With a little help from JD I have even started to learn the local language. I still cant understand most of what they say but I know they have dubbed me Dirk (these guys arent the most imaginative, I guess they see a tall white guy with long hair and figure he is white like Dirk so he must play like Dirk), JD is Sprite (no idea where they got that from), and Mark is either Steve Nash or White Cracker depending on the day.
I have learned the two worst things to do are to fall over when defending someone, and to jump on a pump fake. Either way you will be ridiculed mercilessly, I have done both of those and everyone there still recounts it whenever I show up. Of course I am also one of the only ones who bothers defending anyone (JD is the other, he is quite good too). Another thing is that you have to taunt, if not you wont get anywhere. Yesterday I stuffed a guy with both hands and since i said nothing no else said anything, then I slip on a crossover and the whole neighbourhood sounded off on it.
Yup becoming one can be hard on your pride sometimes but I am learning, pretty soon Ill be ready to dunk, and yell, and swear, and taunt, and dribble for half an hour before I try shooting. What, thats not the vision, drat. Well i guess I will stick to enjoying ball and not worry about whether the neighborhood thinks I am whiter Tom Green.
posted by toshandprom | Sunday, August 05, 2007
7 Comments:
A trash talking wigger Toshi -- that's like an oxymoron isn't it?
ehh...heh.
They give you white boys high praise no? I mean Dirk and Nash? Seeing you play at WS kinda stumbled me. But then that could have just been an off week. I'm thinking the name Dunleavy might fit you better.
And I'm not sure how good Mark is, but he must be semi good to get the name Nash...so I'd dub him Redick. He's a good guard.
-Evil laughter-
Hey like I said they aren't the most imaginative, I think has more to do with the whiteness and the hair than with the game. Though this one time I did sort of well and kind of did the whole Dirk fist pump\sneer thingy so that might have started it. And no Mark got the Nash thing cause his hair is semi long and he is white, not cause he plays like Nash. Though he has gotten tons better.
And which Dan is this that thinks I can't trash talk? If it is Dan of Gin then he should know better, cause we were talking all kinds of smack at the PEP.
What is the oxymoron in that sentence, trash-talking-wigger, or trash-talking-wigger-Toshi? As for the association of Toshi and Mark to Dirk and Nash I would say it follows in the trend of foreigners! In China they do the same thing, if they know you come from NY they just assume that you must know their brother Wang who lives in Do Laund Do (Toronto) because it’s not in their country (and they say we Americans are not cultured, the lack of culture in this country comes from all the imports).
Seriously I am glad you are learning how to talk smack that actually makes sense! The purpose of it is to get in the other persons head and mess with their game, kinda get them to focus on what you can do and make them scared that you’ll do it again, of course letting the whole neighborhood celebrate your rug impression won’t really give you any fodder for your trash but a 2 handed block might!
I just seem to remember ur blocks never getting the credit that other shorter members of your team seemed to get! I’m not sure if it was cuz of the yell that followed every time I made a block or just that I looked so spaz flying through the air using all my might trying desperately to get to that ball.
In either case next time we play ball it shud be entertaining, ne bets on which will be more entertaining the verbal banter that you have now grown to call trash talk, or actual B’ball skilz?
Luv ya man hope ur actually inproving ur playing skilz not just ur smack talk. ;)
They call Jaydee Sprite 'cause of his green shirt that's the color of a sprite bottle.
it's true... all I did was cross this dude over, and looked at him with a provoking smile as i did it. this automatically give him the impression that i will do it again. so in his deffense i was from then on considered a force to be messed with. i know this because all his home boys went off with large amounts of animation. so hence then, i was double teamed the rest of the game... i take it my grin was kinda "i did it cuz i planned too, or i knew i would"....i never let them think even once that it was an accedent.
they call me sprit only cuz i tend to wear a green and white phatfarm jersey on the court. so aperantly i look like a sprite bottle...
I'd pay money to hear you trash talking Tosh, or should I say Dirk? Hee Hee
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